Sunday, July 25, 2010

Songs from '77 (the year I was birthed)

Marque Moon - Television
Dogs - Pink Floyd
Closer to the Heart - Rush
Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
Bodies - Sex Pistols
Two out of Three ain't Bad - Meat Loaf
Heroes - David Bowie
Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) - Billie Joel
Come Sail Away - Styx
New Rose - The Damned
We Will Rock You - Queen
We Are the Champions - Queen
Pacific Ocean Blues - Dennis Wilson
Sonic Reducer - The Dead Boys
Love Gun - Kiss
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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Podcast: Enter Inception

What do Inception, Doug Benson and San Diego have in common? Tune in, turn on and drop out to...er..find out.
Best of 2010
Doug Benson: Too High to Die
Beautiful Downtown San Diego

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Monday, July 12, 2010

Ode to the Olde Skool Nintendo (MySpace 6.21.06)

Tonight is a sad night in the history of D.A…..for I had to end a 19 year relationship. You see, back in the Spring of ’87, while most kids were beating off to Kelly Bundy still frames on their VHS’s (I’m talking to you Donnie Darko!!), I was working my ass off (so I thought) for my Dad cutting suckers off olive trees in order to save up for a Nintendo Entertainment Center. I remember the day my mom took me to the toy store in Visalia and let me spend “my money.” My mom was so proud she bought me “Ghosts and Goblins.”

Three hours later, Punk Scott came home, as I heard the menacing sound of Iron Maiden and a beetle engine roar up the drive, he got off early from Todd’s teenage slave mill (everyone else called it the Pizza Factory)—and an hour later I was watching Punk Scott—who slept in on those spring beak days hung over when I was out toiling for my 8-Bit bliss, play my game.

Come 2 A.M. I was watching him get to the Satan Level on “GnG,” as I called that game and little did I know that a band named “GnR” was completing their Head-Banging masterpiece just 3 hours south down 99 and the 5. Revenge is mine though, I stole the very album in question from him when he went into the Navy—so who’s laughing now?

I threw my childhood in an Omaha dumpster tonight.

First Game played on my Nes: “GnG”
Last Game played on my Nes: “Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest”

Your Hi-Tech Mutant,

DtotheA

PS-This is the picure of the Nintendo's sorry replacement, a $20 knock off I bought on Amazon. It's a top loader, big as a CD and only plays half my games and runs them hot. Not an adequit replacement by any means

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Spawn of 3 Live Crew.

Boom! Goes the dynamite and LeBron Raymone James is a Miami Heat (goddamn-verb-sport-names-popular-in-the-90's.)

It's over. Quit crying all you midwestern faggots. LBJ was not your friend. He was just pretending to be one of you as his yearning (i.e. his wang) pointed like a metal detecting twig to South Beach as the other two break off their love affairs to get crazy from the heat.

Is there any reason not to believe that these 3 media and NBA darlings masterminded this in Bejing? If so, Kobe egged it on. I bet he did. How sweet will it be to see Heat/Lakers in the 2011 Finals. Could it get any better?

Basketball just got better today. The Heat are going down in flames when the Mamba, Pow and Ron Ron hit the thunder next June.

And we will all be witnesses.
Hello Bahhhbay!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Anti-Bear Blog (MySpace 2.2.07)



So you tell me the Bears are in the Bowl? No shit—two years too soon is you ask me. But no one is asking me and no one cares. That dickhead Grossman will do something Super shitty and will cost them the Lombardi.

Let's face it folks, Rex Grossman is the worst QB to ever have a Super Bowl emblem ironed-on his jersey. He is worst than Trent Dilfer, Neil O'Donnell, Chris Chandler, Stan Humphries, Vince Ferragamo, Kerry Collins, and David Woodley. And he sounds like an uneducated caveman in interviews—he looks like a pimply-faced high schooler asking one of the cheerleaders to go to prom. What a waste of a draft pick. And I remember that draft day in 2003—how happy I was when Tagliabue said this butthole's name—I downright cheered because he was a good passer at Florida. Well that was then and this is now.

I feel sorry for Lovie Smith—the wool has been pulled over his walleyes. I respect him, but this kind of shit reminds me of Dusty Baker's sad devotion to that loose screw Levon Hernandez—and we all remember what came of that—Barry Bonds, the greatest modern baseball player, alone in the dugout, watching the Angels participate in clothed orgy mere miles from Disneyland. The Giants are a sore subject…

Anyways, this may be the Bears only shot for awhile. Lance Briggs is gone and Ron Rivera might be dealing with the soap opera that is Terrell Owens next year. The defense has been busting so many skulls this year and they show it. Tommie Harris and Mike Green, the backbone of that secondary, will be watching the game with their hats on the wrong way.

Maybe I'm just pessimistic…or humble. I'd like to think of it as a combination of both. It's healthy to be skeptical, because if the Bears just go out their and smack Payton and Marv in the mouth and Jones and C-Ben go out there and run like animals and effectively keep the pigskin out of Oedipus Rex's hands—maybe, just maybe, Brian Urlacher will want to go to Disneyland and watch a clothed orgy.

Monday, July 5, 2010

If All Else Fales (MySpace 3.23.07)


You see a lot of funny stuff riding around Sacramento. Seagulls and Jews. God is gay. Hubbard Dianetics. It makes my brain laugh really hard while my face remains subdued. Sometimes I pretend my regular bike is a motorcycle and I'm in the desert apocalypse of a George Bush-less future, shooting zombies with my shotgun and having sex with android hookers because all the women die. It's a real pisser of an apocalypse.

Sometimes I think about the crazy cracker Daniel Pinchbeck who wrote that book 2012: The Return of Quetzalcoatl and how he thinks that the Mayans knew what they were doing by giving us humans a spiritual expiration date. I don't think anything monumental will happen on December 21, 2012—and if it does, the server that this blog will be imprinted on, as well as all of those who read it, will be lost in an inconceivable limbo.

I'd like to think that something much cooler will happen instead of the paranoid delusions of Nazi hellfire brought forth by Charlie Manson WMD's. No, I'd like to see a reboot of the planet, where animals double in populous and males and females become one (known as fales) in a realm where death and creation are dubbed, "out of fashion." A world where jobs are laughable institutions and hot dogs taste like you haven't had one in five years, even if you eat one right after the other. A world where masturbation is as good, or even better than sex (mainly because of the male/female cross-hybridnation idea). A world where we forget what we forgive.

Then I think—damn Mayans! You could have at least waited until after Christmas.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Upgrade Your Grey Matter, Cuz One Day it May Matter (MySpace 4.1.07)


As I was supposed to be watching the Aqua Teen Colon Movie for Theatres (booo Adult Swim!), I reflect on the past instead. I went to visit my buddy/blue collar guru, Carl and his wife Tena. They live in El Dorado, the Three Rivers of Sacramento. We played with his dog, Rat Fink, named after artist/1960's hot rod mogul Ed "Big Daddy" Roth's trademark mascot. Carl was helping work a story out and he retold a story that took all of five minutes to recap. We talked of the past, the present and visions of the future. Carl is my surrogate Sacramento dad and time with him on his property in El D is time away from the city.

To quote Deltron 3030 – "I'm caught in the grips of the city madness."

I go home next weekend, a different kind of escape in avoiding politics with dad and poison the gears in the minds of my nephews Keithan—the robotic duo of death.

Weird things I saw riding bike in El Dorado. A teenage girl smoking a cigarette and chasing her friends with what looked to be a toy version of an AK-47 (here's to hoping it was fake, at least), some bikers going into Red's Bar, some creepy asshole staring at me from the second story of this Victorian house, and a couple militia dudes smoking cigarettes and gulping Bud Light with a hooker they called out from Sparks earlier to be their threesome doll.

The Giants will win the World Series this year. D.A.'s teams on the rise.

I got my propaganda
I got revisionism
I got my violence
In hi-def ultra-realism
All a part of this great nation
I got my fist
I got my plan
I got survivalism

Friday, July 2, 2010

Star Wars GIF

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King Carl - Episode 2: Father Knows Best

In episode two of my epic chat with Carl, we talk about his up and down relationship with his old man. These are some of Carl's best stories IMHO. Enjoy.
ipod Download Link:
Carl and his 7 siblings (Carl in upper left).
Carl's Dad, Lloyd and a rare smile wearing a horse bridle on his head.
Lloyd letting one of the family's pet monkeys pick around.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Sib and his Mega-Ass Afro! (MySpace 6.14.06)


Greeting Ministry of Myspace,
Have you ever pondered what album you were possibly conceived to? For those of us who didn't grow up under the tear of liberal new-agers for parents, we are positively frightened to ever ask our parents this question.

Mine would be Boston's self-titled effort....

For two reasons:

1) The album came out roughly 9 months before my self-titled debut and 2) my parents had this album in their collection.

I imagine my genesis peeking at the end of "Rock & Roll Band."

So anyone else know (or at least an idea like me) of what wax was spinning when your parents still had a sex life?

-Adam Ant