Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Rapture or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Evil Galactic Warlord Named Xenu (MySpace 3.18.06)


TO's going to Dallas..Tomkat might be married..Japanese engineers have designed robots to look after their elderly. Folks if you didn't think that the apocalypse couldn't be any closerthink again!

Terrell Owen is going to destroy pro football and Jerry Jones is riding shotgun. I can't wait till next year when that loudmouth gives Tuna a heat attack on the sidelines at big D and then they'll be sorry. It will all be televised for your viewing pleasure, TO will be jumping on Parcels flabby belly as he passes out from cardiac arrestthey'll have to get a couple of them trained gorillas in "don't-mess-with Texas" patrolman get-up to rip TO off his ex-coach (or perhaps ex-fellow human being depending on what the doctors can do). Jerry Jones will have a press conference the next day, feign tears and then hire Jeff Fisher and Eric Moulds to fill in the gaps the day afterstand by apocalypse!

Tomkat finally made it official so that their little spawn of L. Ron can enter this world to invent the rocket ship that will save all the Scientologists before the Earth gets destroyed by Xenu. The spawn will live a privileged life in a world made up by some hippy science fiction writer who had a penchant for peyote and handjobs from Art Bell. This child will have superior intellect that comes from a divine source (because L. Ron knows it won't be coming from Maw and Paw Beautiful). Christians and Heathens alike will stay on this toilet Earth to endure the wrath of the reckoning as and elderly Tom sits shaking in his diamond studded wheelchair sipping the blood of the younger OT's, fed to his body intravenously through a straw as he takes a ride in Jr's rocket to safety (only to be obliterated by an asteroid named after Timothy Leary somewhere near Neptune's orbit.oh darn!)..apocalypse is nigh!

The robots of Japan will not only help the country's elders, but they will become savage warriors ala Terminator and will rule the island by the time Tom Jr. finishes his schematics. Soon afterwards, the army of bots will find the keys to the war heads, Bay of Pigs part two ensues.and that is how we'll all get ours ladies and jellyspoonshope you're all ready.cuz we're all going down like groupies at a Led Zeppelin concert....

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