Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Week 14 Blog: 2 Hype

Tim Tebow has become the obsession of many, either it be lovers and haters. I'm not going write about my opinion of him (I love him, personally--even though he beat my Bears in this week's come from behind miracle), many have already done so and the story is wearing thin, me thinks. But instead I want to write about how Tim Tebow isn't just helping his own team, he's helping the Packers win too.
In 2007, Boston was the American sports epicenter. After the Red Sox won their second championship in 4 years and the Celtics acquired Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, the Patriots 16-0 season was icing on the cake. But the thing about the Patriots 2007 season was that they had to face the lossless questions, week in and week out. You could tell in press conferences that Brady was getting annoyed. I'm sure Belichick named a few new wrinkles on his forehead and mouth "2007 undefeated questions." The American sporting media will eat the hearts of children if you gave them a knife and fork, so I don't think that it is unfair to blame the Patriots loss in the Super Bowl that year on those talking heads.

Smash cut to 2011, the defending world champions, the Green Bay Packers are 13-0 and nobody is losing their minds over it the way they did with the '07 Pats and to a lesser extent, the '09 Colts. Also, the Packers have a different style of dealing with the media, they seem to clown around and always say stuff like, "we're 0-0 after a win." The sports media hates this "non-opinion of themselves," and I'm sure a score of these press-guys pine for the day when they were contributing to the wrinkles in Belichick's face. The Packers play it close to the vest and never give the media anything other than their high level of play to analyze. But the media doesn't care about the Packers so much as they do about young Tebow, so the Pack's feet aren't being put to the fire like the Pats were and they should all tebow before the altar of the pigskin and thank the NFL gods for that.

A big 'what if' going around now is the potential for the Broncos/Packers Super Bowl. This is either an insane notion or I'm insane because this notion sounds insane to me, not sure which yet. But the Broncos need to get by NE first, which they will not because Belichick>Tebow--but they'll win their last two against the Balls/Chefs. They will have a home game for the Wild Card and Tebow Time will rise again as they beat the unknown team in OT. The Miracle Broncos will head up to Foxboro where once again, the equation of Belichick>Tebow will=Victory for the Pats.
"I shall have your genitals in a fruit bowl."
But here at the Book of Drewsus, we feel that such-meaningless prognostication is not only necessary but dire to human survival. So what if? What if the Broncos could beat the Pats twice this year, would you believe in God then?

"You will all believe soon."

Or would Friar Tim and the Snowy White Steeds have to go on the road again and beat the Ravens of Baltimore for you to believe. Tim "Jesus Fish"Tebow will strike fear in the Raven fanbase much like Snoop, terrorizing her streets of Charm City with a gunpowder-powered nailgun. And then what, the Packers in the Super Bowl. Sheeet! That's a big what-if!

"I know, I don't believe in the Packers either."
  • James Harrison. He got a one game suspicion for that hit he put on Cunt McCoy. That's some BS. Now he's gettin' lumped together with DonkeyKong Suh, which is unfair. What Harrison did was part of the game, what Suh did was extra-curricular assholery after the whistle. I feel as if the league/media are on a witch hunt for overly-aggressive D-Men, maybe they can sew a red D on Harriosn and Suh's jersey on the games they sit out. I really don't know what this league is becoming, what with four QBs throwing for over 4,000 yards this year so far--it obvious that the fix is in. But the league will hit a brick wall with this soon--teams that rely on their clutch defenses to keep them in games will bitch up a storm during rules committee meetings in the Spring. Hopefully, this ship will right itself or expect arena league high scores where defensive players will only be required to have a pulse.
  • T.J. Yates. He has strung together a couple nice outings, including throwing the game-winning tud to propel the Texans into their first post-season inclusion. Put away the anointing oil, State of Texas--this dude is just waiting to flub à la Tony Romo in the playoff game where he fumbled the snap in special teams. It.will.happen!
  • Dallas Cowboys. Again, this team will epically spiral into themselves during the Christmas shopping season. I predict that they will fail miserably again and make way for the Giants (and the golden god, Eli Manning who is having a career year). Look for Jason Garrett to get the axe and the Cowboys go out and get Jeff Fisher--those lucky bastards.
  • Maurice Jones-Drew and Larry Fitzgerald. These big market players need to get out of their small markets before they both peak. Wouldn't it be great to see MJD running for the Lions or Jets--or better yet, the Patriots? I would love to see Fitzgerald in a Bear uniform, but I imagine he will be either a Cowboy or Titan when his current contract is up. These 2 are the best of the worst.
  • Tom Brady. It might be safe to say that Bill O'Brien won't be the O coordinator in New England next year after this happened:All of this prima donna bullshit aside, the thing that isn't getting talked about enough is Tiquan Underwood's fly ass hair. I really hope he is ushering in a retro era in the NFL, setting the clock for 1991 when the jerry curl was exiting stage left and the Christopher "Kid"Reid high-top fade was all the rage.
He's 2 Hype.
  • The Caleb Hanie Award...goes to Carson Palmer, going 24/42 for 245 YDS and 4 INTs. Carson needs to watch some film this off-season, have a full camp next year and then he will make the Raiders a strong contender...next year. This year, however, the West belongs to the team of destiny.
  • 49ers. Starting to think that this team is "2-hyped" as well. They are in real danger of playing the wild card weekend if the high-flying Saints have anything to say about it. As a Bears fan, I wouldn't mind seeing the Niners that first week if Jay and Matt come back into the fold. In fact, this scenario is a preference of mine...
No Predictions this week, giving my Great Grampy's crystal ball the week off. Fuckin' Finals did me in this week--expect a full report next week. Look for an addendum to this post in the next couple of days, though.

12/17 Addendum:

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